Part 24 || Runner, Remember Me

Left at the Gate: A Divine No-Show

Jul 01, 2025

∙ Paid

Part 1|| Stardust|| When You Remember Your Celestial Origins

Part 2|| Stardust|| When Stars Collide

Part 3|| Stardust|| Snuffalupugus, Planetary Parades, & A Truck Baby

Part 4|| Stardust|| Tristan As A Mouse & The Vertex

Part 5 StarDust|| A Kiss of Life, Guitar Plucks & Magical Kings

Part 6 || StarDust|| Four-Leaf Clovers, Fireflies, & Harlequin Novels

Part 7 || Stardust || The Deception of Appearances

Part 8 || Revised Contracts & Interference

Part 9 || Soul Merge & Love Making

Part 10 || Enter The Twilight Zone

Part 11 || Trump Near-Assassination, Timeline Jumps & Tracks

Part 12 || When Voltage Regulators Go Haywire

Part 13 || Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Part 14 || Would You Die For Him?

Part 15 || Is Snuffy Your True Twin?

Part 16|| Characteristics Of A Twin Flame Connection

Part 17|| More Characteristics Of A True Twin Flame Connection

Part 18|| Two Ships In The Night

Part 19|| Guns, Candlesticks & The Clock That Knows

Part 20 || Crypto, Soul Bubble & Pop

Part 21 || The Lion, The Gate, & The Toad To Remembrance

Part 22 || I AM The 1,2,3,4 & The 5

Part 23|| Sigils in the Soil: Soul Memory Recovery

You may have felt dropped into a storyline you never would have chosen in your right mind. But you weren’t in your right mind. you were in your soul. And your soul knew what it was doing. ~~ The Game of Rememberance, Joann Marchese

I spent most of the 8/8/8 Lion’s Gate Portal hyperventilating. The ominous feeling in my gut had come true. We didn’t get to St. Augustine. Just yet.

Had I mistaken a coiled rope for a snake? Was I delusional?

The first separation with Snuffy felt like a soul cord snapping and I was there trembling but resolute.

Energy doesn’t lie, I reminded myself.

Had a dark force intervened? Was the anxiety I felt inside of me mine, or was it his?

When I went to cancel the Airbnb, I noticed that I had paid $332.90.

I texted him a screenshot with a note:

“Ironically, the Airbnb in San Augustine was ten cents shy of $333.”

I was beyond sad and confused. I walked around through the Hassidic Jewish neighborhood I had found myself living in to a nearby golf course. In a daze, I looked at ducks floating aimlessly in the algae-stained water and wondered what the big deal was about going on a road trip with a truck baby, I legally had joint custody of. I didn’t get it.

I wanted to get a grip on the situation. I was accustomed to being in control, but instead, I had seemingly strapped myself into a dangerous rollercoaster, like the Alpine Slide in New Jersey, nicknamed Class Action Park due to the number of accidents it had caused. This was a whirlwind ride, the kind that surged unpredictably, dipped suddenly, and left me exhilarated, but full of knots. I tried to keep calm and breathe steadily while clinging to stillness amidst an inner storm.

According to The Pattern, our connection was unpredictable and unusual. I agreed. We were both wild cards in our own ways. Same but different. I was willing to surrender and embrace the energies, but I wasn’t sure if I would be able to get off the rollercoaster uninjured.

Enter The Runner || Bubble Burst

The 3D world would likely mislabel Snuffy a narcissist or a douche bag. But he was neither. He was a beautiful, deep soul, albeit wounded. He displayed characteristics of a dismissive-avoidant. In twin flame lingo, however, the moment he first stood me up marked the activation of the “Runner archetype.”

This is the moment the soul bubble bursts.

It’s often a subtle but significant shift—the moment when the fear of intimacy, of truly being seen, overrides the magnetic pull of the connection.

Silly wabbit, didn’t he know I had already seen and felt him?

The Runner isn’t always conscious of what they’re doing; it’s more like an internal override switch gets flipped. Something within them registers: This is real... too real.

The potential was too intimidating. And rather than face the mirror, he bolted—emotionally, physically, spiritually.

I knew his soul had recognized me. But his ego—wounded protector, the one built on shame, fear, guilt, and illusion, stopped in and said:

“Too much. Too soon. Too deep. Abort.”

Had I mistaken soul recognition for a romance scam?

What would I say to him in person when I saw him again? I thought of what Clementine tells Joel in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind when he returns and visits her at the library: “I didn’t think you’d show your face again.”

Clementine delivers it with a sting.

They’ve both had their memories of each other erased. But something in her still knows. Clementine says, “Remember me.”

Clementine’s saying:

Don’t let them delete us. Don’t let fear win. Don’t forget the real thing, even if it hurts.

I had just co-signed for a car and lent him crypto. Nothing had been earned. I had just given it away easily. Why? I’d felt his essence. I’d seen myself in him without knowing what the fuck a twin flame was.

But was there more to it, this self-sacrificing for others? I would look into this during my year-long investigation into twin flames, soul, this connection, and myself.

“Your twin is not causing your pain—they are revealing it. Integration happens when you take ownership of your response rather than assigning blame. That’s how you transmute the loop into love."

Instead of devolving into anger, I watched the trigger and looked inward—what wound, belief, or unmet need was he illuminating?

Was it me he was rejecting, or the intensity and oddness of the connection? I so wanted to ask him, but I lacked the courage and opportunity.

Be cool, honeybunny. Be cool.

I was sad and deeply hurt. Snuffy has no idea how many tears I’ve shed for him. My ex would have put those tears in a bottle and drank them. I say that because he’d literally say, “Come on, Mimi, give me those tears,” while licking my face. I would laugh at his absurdity and twistedness. He liked teasing me when I cried. It was kinda sick.

Snuffy, on the other hand, was a rabbit hole on his own. There was no template for this connection or this man. The only other person I had met who was as deep or complex as he was myself. He felt like my husband. My brother. My friend. My enemy. A stranger. My son. My lover. My Father. My dreams. My fears. The energy didn’t ‘feel’ like anything I had ever experienced. It was, alas, not something I could understand with logic.

Trust me, I tried. I realized that the story of Clementine and Joel is also about a twin flame connection. She doesn’t understand the intensity and literally goes to erase him. Out of spite and hurt, he does the same. But the universe brings them together and they cannot quite scrub the bond.

Meanwhile, I also realized that ejaculating inside…

Part 24 || Runner, Remember Me

Left at the Gate: A Divine No-Show

Enter The Runner || Bubble Burst

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