Part 22 || I AM The 1,2,3,4 & The 5

The Day I Graduated And Officially Exited The MatriX

Jun 13, 2025

∙ Paid

Part 1|| Stardust|| When You Remember Your Celestial Origins

Part 2|| Stardust|| When Stars Collide

Part 3|| Stardust|| Snuffalupugus, Planetary Parades, & A Truck Baby

Part 4|| Stardust|| Tristan As A Mouse & The Vertex

Part 5 StarDust|| A Kiss of Life, Guitar Plucks & Magical Kings

Part 6 || StarDust|| Four-Leaf Clovers, Fireflies, & Harlequin Novels

Part 7 || Stardust || The Deception of Appearances

Part 8 || Revised Contracts & Interference

Part 9 || Soul Merge & Love Making

Part 10 || Enter The Twilight Zone

Part 11 || Trump Near-Assassination, Timeline Jumps & Tracks

Part 12 || When Voltage Regulators Go Haywire

Part 13 || Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Part 14 || Would You Die For Him?

Part 15 || Is Snuffy Your True Twin?

Part 16|| Characteristics Of A Twin Flame Connection

Part 17|| More Characteristics Of A True Twin Flame Connection

Part 18|| Two Ships In The Night

Part 19|| Guns, Candlesticks & The Clock That Knows

Part 20 || Crypto, Soul Bubble & Pop

Part 21 || The Lion, The Gate, & The Toad To Remembrance

You can find the magical, mysterious, and wondrous when you step away from the fringe of everyday perception and extend beyond the limitations of the five senses.

As the light filled the chambers inside my heart once again, I realized the dark side I’d been reporting on had been consuming me. It was indeed a slow creep. I call it the Heath Ledger Effect—when you dive too deeply into the shadows, sometimes you never come back.

Ledger, while playing The Joker, reportedly lost sleep, journaled obsessively in character, and became emotionally fragmented, unable to fully re-anchor himself in the real world. The role swallowed him.

The wolf you feed grows.

Similarly, I wasn’t just covering the Rona Regime, transhumanism, and the George Floyd operation; I had injected myself into these false narratives, Hunter S. Thompson style. I was processing the truth and saying things, or trying to at least, that most people only dare to think.

You’re welcome, by the way.

I‘ve concluded the mascot for the brainwashed masses has become the Ostrich.

I, on the other hand, was calling nursing homes, the FDA, Pfizer, reading patents and studies, attending private CDC meetings, tweeting like mad, and buying Charles Lieber’s court exhibits.

"It's a New World" ~ Ray Kurzweil circa 2009

MARYAM HENEIN

January 14, 2024

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I was the first in the nation to contact the medical examiner’s office in Hennepin, MN, in response to George Floyd’s death. I befriended Maurice Lester Hall, the man who was with George that day, bought Floyd’s 20$ debt from Cup Foods, interviewed the boy who took the fake $20, and is the only journalist today who knows the truth about how John Turscak was socially engineered to stab Derek Chauvin 22 times.

Is Derek even alive?

Anyway, I digress.

The brighter the flame, the longer the shadow it casts. I was flatlining. And when Snuffy unexpectedly reached out to kiss me, it was like a Stryker machine to my heart. Now that my divine spark had been ignited once more, I wanted to purge any blockages from that chakra center.

💔 The Jab, Heart Coherence & the Sabotage of Ascension

MARYAM HENEIN

May 29

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Heart-centered awakenings often come in waves, and I wanted an emotional breakthrough after consciously putting myself on the back burner for years. I was bloody and ragged post Plandemic, and it was time to heal and live from my heart versus living in ego and being fueled by fear, which is a low-level survival frequency.

Anxiously Attached, Deeply Enlightened, Mildly Unhinged

The ceremony was to unfold in North Miami.

I brought my journal and my kyanite crystal shaped like a sword. Kyanite is known as a bridge stone, aligning all chakras instantly without conscious effort. It supports speaking one's truth and living in alignment with higher wisdom. It’s especially effective in removing energetic blockages, and it enhances communication, authentic expression, and telepathic abilities. You can see why I gravitated to it so much that I used to sleep with it under my pillow.

“Most girls sleep with teddy bears, mine sleeps with rocks,” my ex, Rye, told me once. Originally from the backwoods of Maine, I met him on the set of Catwoman at the Warner Bros lot in Burbank, California. He was a Key Grip for Hollywood, and I was the personal assistant to Pitof, a French visual effects supervisor turned film director, best known for his visually stylized work on the film The City of Lost Children.

I seemingly have a thing for handymen. Maybe it’s because my dad is not handy at all.

The first time Rye and I spoke, we were on the lawn of a fake house full of cats. I loved felines, and I was thrilled to be around dozens of them. I had just brought an espresso to my boss, and I was bored, wishing I had brought some magazines to read. I was always trying to hoover up information.

He told me he had some in his truck. I wondered if he was going to get me a rag on automobiles, but instead he gave me an issue of The New Yorker.

Don’t judge a book by its cover.

I was in a lot of physical pain back then. I still had a 13-inch titanium metal rod in my left femur, and it was definitely cramping my style. It had been two years earlier that an SUV had hit me at 35 miles per hour and dragged me 49 feet across the cement. He used to look under my skirt and objectify me at times. I liked it. After feeling like a crippled bird, I felt sexy once again. I was his personal pin-up girl.

We had loads of fun over the four years we were together. He had a nine-month-old son when we met, whom I was also attached to. The breakup was more brutal because I was breaking up with two people at once. (Now that I think about it, Snuffy’s ex-wife also had a young son, whom he grew to love.)

It was in that relationship that I learned about Alcoholics Anonymous and 12-Step Rooms. He drank a lot, but he was functional, if not fully present. I wound up in Al-Anon and then SLA, which stands for Sex and Love Addiction. I snuck my journal into the meetings, and it provided excellent fodder for my writings. I felt like Marla Singer from Fight Club.

Ultimately, the booze and my ambitions got in the way. I was too wild and career-driven. It was the most domestic relationship I’ve ever had. And it certainly was not a spiritual or soul bond. This was one of the reasons I was intrigued by Snuffy. The connection felt spiritual, and while it would prove to be maddening, it was also magical and certainly not mundane.

In this 3D fake and gay world, however, relationship dynamics are shaped by our attachment styles. If you are attracting emotionally unavailable partners, you are likely emotionally unavailable yourself. Think about it.

Cuz it’s safe. And you can just play the victim about the ogre you’ve attracted.

In truth, all of us are mirrors; some reflect our shadow, and some reflect our higher self. Either way, it’s an opportunity to go deeper and at least try to see your blind spots.

Attachment styles are blueprints we develop in childhood based on how our caregivers responded to our emotional needs. These patterns silently shape how we relate, connect, and love — especially in adult relationships.

For instance, my sister turned into a narcissist. I, however, was the sensitive empath who overgave. I was endlessly understanding until I wasn’t anymore.

I had a disorganized attachment style, which is marked by a confusing mix of avoidance and anxiousness, often rooted in early trauma or inconsistent caregiving. People with this style may crave closeness but fear it at the same time, leading to chaotic relationship patterns.

After years of being single, I had worked on being secure.

Often, we attract someone with whom we act out our subconscious desire to 'win' the love we didn’t receive in childhood. I was more comfortable giving and if someone showed me too much attention, when I was younger, i was the avoidant. I grew up being verbally and physically abused by my juvenile parents. I tolerated coldness, breadcrumbs, and chaos. Some part of me registered that as usual.

Early on, Snuffy sent me an Instagram link. The gist was that most people don’t understand what it’s like to crave both connection and solitude. But I did understand. He was describing me.

Although I was physically attracted to Snuffy, I didn’t have an agenda. I imagined we could be lovers. But most of all, I wanted to get to know him. The energy between us utterly enchanted me, and I was excited to be physically attracted to someone and also feel a sweet, innocent love in my heart.

Soul Math: Counting the Infinite Within

When I arrived at the ceremony, I found about 10 people wearing white and smiling brightly. I was wearing my baby blue Ganesha t-shirt - the Destroyer of All Obstacles. We sat on pillows around a bevy of singing bowls.

The curandera explained that she is from the Comcaac people, an Indigenous group also known as the Seri, who live along the coast of the Gulf of California in the Mexican state of Sonora. Their territory overlaps with the Sonoran Desert — the same ecosystem the toad inhabits.

I raised my hand and asked her if Christianity had co-opted her indigenous tribe.

I think the crowd was surprised by my question. But I was surprised by her answer.

She made it a point to tell me that the Seri people are known for their deep, intact relationship with their environment and their spiritual cosmology, which remains unadulterated by Catholicism or Christian conversion efforts. In contrast to many Indigenous tribes in Mexico, the Comcaac resisted missionization and retained much of their ancestral cosmology and language.

I was glad I had trusted my intuition and asked.

Her assistant, Will, told us to set our intentions.

I wrote in my journal:

I want to make a quantum leap. I want to live from my heart and touch people with my light and love. I want my own Great Fucken Reset. I want my book to get published and I want to sell my company.

I was the second one to smoke the toad venom, which contains 5-MeO-DMT, a potent psychoactive compound known for inducing rapid ego dissolution, non-dual states, and mystical experiences.

Will loaded a quartz chillum, which looked like a “meth-style” pipe, and then the curandera lit a torch lighter. I was encouraged to surrender fully—body, mind, and ego — while I slowly drew the vapor deeply into my lungs. I felt like I was going to faint. I had done Bufo before, but I was always conservative to maintain control.

I held the inhale for 15 seconds before exhaling, but the curandera knew I had not broken through.

Suddenly, I saw an infinity sign swirling inside my womb. It was like a string of lights. I wondered what it meant. A few days later, while journaling, it came to me that it could very well be Snuffy’s sperm swimming with my energy. He’d left a spermatic imprint, and it was as though our sex and spirit were swirling inside my womb, which is a cosmic portal.

In the months to come, I’d feel Snuffy’s energy around and inside my being. I had conversations with his soul in the 5D. When I investigated whether any other ‘twin flames’ described this fucken crazy feeling, I discovered that it’s often described as an energetic intertwining. This third energy doesn’t always mean the relationship will work in the 3D. It’s a teaching field, a mirror, a purifier, a guide. He was like my imaginary friend.

I utilized the energy in the connection for self-liberation, self-love, remembrance, and the embodiment of my truth.

Back at the ranch, the curandera invited me to take another drag, and although I hesitated, I inhaled once more to pull back the ego and let go. The ego fears dissolution, but the soul knows Bufo is a doorway.

I felt tremendous pain near my left ovary, where Rockefeller surgeons had removed a big fibroid in 2022. The surgery unfolded during the Plandemic, and I felt like I was letting go of a lot of stored energy and trauma in my uterus.

Bufo can catalyze cellular memory purging, especially from sites of trauma or surgical incisions. What I felt was a visceral remembrance and expulsion of trapped pain, emotions, and perhaps foreign energy.

And then I found myself saying this out loud:

“I am the one, I am the two, I am the three, I am the four, and I am the five.”

I was watching myself say this, but I had no idea why or what it meant. A month and a half later, Snuffy would give me a clue.

And then I heard,

You graduated, Maryam. From here on out …